Weary

Yesterday was a very difficult day, dealing with the fitful sleep filled with nightmares, abusive bill collectors and the constant pain in my body. By evening I was in tears and cried hard for an hour straight. I try to stay strong, but I get weary of the constant struggle, the constant pain, the constant fighting with my body to make it do what I need it to.

A tough day

I've been exhausted and restless the last few days. My sleep pattern has been erratic and I'm having trouble falling asleep despite being completely worn out. I tossed and turned for hours last night, finally falling asleep as the sun came up. The nightmares came back with a vengeance. I woke gasping and irritated. I'm trying not to let it ruin my day. I keep a notebook and pen by my bed and have been writing them down as soon as I wake which helps me to let them go.
In other news, my melon vines have been flowering and one has produced several tiny watermelon which are about the size of a bean. I will post pictures as soon as I can. My dad will be setting up the trellis this weekend for the vines to climb. I plan to grow them vertically to save space and keep the dog from trampling them.
I am very weak and tired today, my muscles aching. So I plan to do as little as possible and maybe I'll feel a bit better tomorrow.

It's 4:37 pm and I just received my 2nd harassing phone call from a new debt collection agency. This guy pulled out all the stops, intimidation, swearing etc. I should have asked him who peed in his cheerios this morning....hehe. I have decided to stop answering my phone unless I recognize the number and communicate with these agencies strictly via mail.

More nightmares

I had more nightmares last night. The first was pretty horrible and woke me just like the others, drenched in sweat. I let the pups out and went back to sleep. The second started out pretty awful but kind of mellowed after a while. It ended strangely but not very scary, so it didn't wake me like the others. I'm still very tired and sleeping day and night despite the rotten dreams. I scooped the doggy poop out of the yard today, which left me dizzy and feeling faint. I had to chug water and rest a bit to recover from it. As I sat resting and writing out my dreams, the dogs started to get rowdy and play with each other. I turned on my camera and got a few minutes of it recorded...they are so cute! I'll post the link later.

Nightmares

I am still very tired and easily winded. I slept 8 hours last night, got up to feed the pups then went back to bed and slept on and off for another 3.5 hours. Both sleeping periods were, once again, filled with nightmares and had me waking drenched in sweat.

Blaaah

I have spent much of the last several days in and out of bed as I seem to need frequent rest breaks. My friends picked me up to spend the night with them last night...they left this morning on vacation so I'm staying here to care for their plants and four small dogs. I did not sleep well last night. I think because the sounds are different here so I woke up often. I ended up snoozing most of the day today to make up for it, but had horrible nightmares and still woke often as a result. So, I'm still very tired and will likely go to bed at a decent hour again tonight. Right now I'm trying to wake up to get the dogs their dinner and cook some of my own.

Worn out

I've been a bit more worn out than usual the last few days, sleeping 10-12 hours at night plus naps during the day. I think it is a result of increasing my dosage of Samento. The pain in my ribs is still present, though not as intense. It seems to be worse when I wake in the morning...likely from the pressure on my ribs all night, as I tend to sleep on my side. I'm still able to water my garden and sit up long enough to write this blog and feed my fishy etc before laying down again, so for that I'm grateful.

My nephew came over to visit yesterday and the day before. On Sunday we walked in the yard looking for bugs and munching on seeds from barrel cactus fruit. He noticed the tiniest little spider dangling from my camera as I stepped under the shade of the mesquite trees. I put it on my hand and tried to get a picture of it. It was fast...crawling all the way up to my sleeve in about 1/2 a second. I did manage to get a great shot though.

Yesterday we made ants on a log (celery sticks filled with peanut butter and topped with raisins). We tried to go outside to eat our snack while sitting on the logs around the fire pit (sitting on a log eating ants on a log - he loved that idea) but it started raining so we moved back inside and put on Young Frankenstein. He got a bit bored during the movie so I let him play with my prototype for a revolving rubber band shooter...he loved that...kept aiming for the characters on the screen.

A good day

I spent most of yesterday lying in bed organizing and filing paperwork, as the pain was still too intense to do much moving. It kept my mind occupied for a while, but by the afternoon I was fed up and frustrated. My friend Steve called as I was lying there gritting my teeth and snarling internally. He said all the right things and within about a minute had managed to break through my shield of anger and frustration, and it all just came pouring out. He listened patiently as I blubbered like an infant, eking out the occasional "thi - iss...*snifffle*....suuuucks". After about 10 straight minutes of bawling, I began to calm down and felt much, much better. We ended up talking for over an hour, just being silly and laughing our butts off. I felt so much lighter and the rest of my day was a whole lot easier. I even managed to get up and do some laundry..yay! Ya gotta love good friends :-D

The pain is lessening a bit each day...whew! I am still twitching occasionally, but not as strong as before.