Sleeping

I've been resting and sleeping a lot the last few days. My nightmares have continued but are not as intense. I am very weak and tired as I continue to increase my dosage of Samento, so I have not been active other than watering my garden and preparing food. Getting up in the morning is incredibly difficult as my body is so weak and sore I just don't want to move but I eventually have to give in to either my bladder or my stomach. To pass the time while lying down I've taken to watching a bit of TV (which I generally despise) and listening to music. Today I pulled my stack of felt off my shelves and got my sewing box out to make a gift for one of my case workers - a journal cover. I'm very happy with the way it turned out and think she'll really enjoy it :)

Weary

Yesterday was a very difficult day, dealing with the fitful sleep filled with nightmares, abusive bill collectors and the constant pain in my body. By evening I was in tears and cried hard for an hour straight. I try to stay strong, but I get weary of the constant struggle, the constant pain, the constant fighting with my body to make it do what I need it to.

A tough day

I've been exhausted and restless the last few days. My sleep pattern has been erratic and I'm having trouble falling asleep despite being completely worn out. I tossed and turned for hours last night, finally falling asleep as the sun came up. The nightmares came back with a vengeance. I woke gasping and irritated. I'm trying not to let it ruin my day. I keep a notebook and pen by my bed and have been writing them down as soon as I wake which helps me to let them go.
In other news, my melon vines have been flowering and one has produced several tiny watermelon which are about the size of a bean. I will post pictures as soon as I can. My dad will be setting up the trellis this weekend for the vines to climb. I plan to grow them vertically to save space and keep the dog from trampling them.
I am very weak and tired today, my muscles aching. So I plan to do as little as possible and maybe I'll feel a bit better tomorrow.

It's 4:37 pm and I just received my 2nd harassing phone call from a new debt collection agency. This guy pulled out all the stops, intimidation, swearing etc. I should have asked him who peed in his cheerios this morning....hehe. I have decided to stop answering my phone unless I recognize the number and communicate with these agencies strictly via mail.

More nightmares

I had more nightmares last night. The first was pretty horrible and woke me just like the others, drenched in sweat. I let the pups out and went back to sleep. The second started out pretty awful but kind of mellowed after a while. It ended strangely but not very scary, so it didn't wake me like the others. I'm still very tired and sleeping day and night despite the rotten dreams. I scooped the doggy poop out of the yard today, which left me dizzy and feeling faint. I had to chug water and rest a bit to recover from it. As I sat resting and writing out my dreams, the dogs started to get rowdy and play with each other. I turned on my camera and got a few minutes of it recorded...they are so cute! I'll post the link later.

Nightmares

I am still very tired and easily winded. I slept 8 hours last night, got up to feed the pups then went back to bed and slept on and off for another 3.5 hours. Both sleeping periods were, once again, filled with nightmares and had me waking drenched in sweat.