Charity drive - day 6

My body is struggling today. I ended up needing a nap again, despite a full night's sleep. I am also in more pain than usual. My left shoulder is sore and stiff, and both my hands throb constantly. Letting go of the frustration is the hardest part, but once I am able to do that, waiting becomes easier. Right now, I knit to stay sane for several reasons. First, it keeps me busy, and second, it is helping me reach my goal so I no longer have to feel this day in and day out. I hope that all made sense, I'm having trouble keeping a train of thought going. Anyway, thanks for reading....until tomorrow.

Is it June already??

My left wrist has gotten steadily worse since it began to hurt in May. I am able to use my left hand and arm less and less, as lifting and grasping is becoming increasingly painful.
My frustration levels have also been high. Family issues coupled with slow response time from doctors has brought me to levels of desperation I have not felt in a long time. The last two days have been especially hard....feeling the urge to scream and just pound something...anything. I have been allowing myself to let loose with the foul language as my psychologist suggested, as it really is my only major outlet. It's helping in some ways, though I don't really like having such a foul mouth. I think the heat has been contributing to my rotten mood as well, being in the triple digits. Yuck!
Lately I feel like I'm going insane from all this....losing my mind. I've been assured by my psychologist that I'm quite sane....though I don't feel it. Anyway, I'll try to write more when I can. Peace!

*#%@&%(!!!!!!

My frustration levels are rising today. After months of attempting to contact the owner of a message board I belong to to get permission to publish a post about my condition and ask for donations to be sent to the clinic on my behalf, I finally got in touch with him and got the green light. I posted it yesterday, but within a few hours it was removed by the moderators. It seems he forgot to tell them he ok'd it. I have messaged him and am awaiting response. After feeling the relief of finally getting it posted after months of work, it felt like a kick in the gut to have it deleted. I can feel myself slipping into a depression over this, as it seems to be a recurring theme. I make a little progress, only to get kicked back to where I started. *taking deep breaths* I have been getting sicker again, with weakness and pain increasing, so my feelings of frantic desperation are taking hold. I don't know how much longer I can continue this way.