pluggin' along

Well, I made it through another Christmas unscathed ;-)
My condition has not improved since my last post, and has in fact gotten worse over the last week. Sharp stomach pain is constant, worsening after I eat which has me postponing or skipping meals. As a result, I am weakening and have become very depressed, lacking the drive to even care about anything most days. I'm faking it a lot, using every ounce of strength I have to keep going but it is becoming more difficult. I don't know what can be done about this other than seeing an improvement in my physical health. I plan to see both my primary doctor, and lyme doctor as soon as I can to rule out the possibility of additional infection. (I discontinued my MSP, Samento, and probiotics regimen the last two days and have felt some relief from the pain....I am going back on them today as I don't' want too large a gap in treatment)

In other news, Socrates made a full recovery from his fungal infection. He was doing fine until two days ago when he stopped eating. He is still pretty active, swimming around his tank etc, but is snubbing his food. I'm keeping a close eye on him for a recurrence of infection.

yucky bout

after increasing my dose of Samento on Nov 13th I began to feel what I believed to be a delayed herx reaction on the 18th. 22 days later it has not yet let up. The only new symptoms are intense headache, a slight fever that lasted about a week and increased depression (likely a result of feeling so darn crappy) so it's difficult to pinpoint exactly what is going on. I can only speculate that this began as a delayed herx, then became something else - likely a seasonal bug - that my body is still fighting off. I am still taking both medications daily and will continue to do so, increasing only after this latest yucky bout passes. For now I am confined to bed much of the time, and not very functional when up for food or medicine. I'll be very glad when this is over.

In other news, my happy little Betta Socrates has fallen ill with a fungal infection. I have been treating him the last 3 days with anti-fungal drops, and while the fungus is dissolving, my poor fish isn't doing so well. He stopped eating yesterday and spends his time sitting at the bottom of his aquarium, his breathing labored. Poor guy :(. I have stopped treatment to allow his gills to recover, as this type of treatment often affects them. There isn't much else I can do for him now but make him comfortable and wait for him to pull through.

Yuck

I'm not in a good place today. Having spent most of the last two days in tears, I am completely exhausted and unmotivated. The weight of depression feels like a lead suit. I lack the stamina to do much but sit or lie down, as even walking to the toilet leaves me winded and dizzy. There is still a small part of me that wants to do something, anything to keep my mind occupied, but my body is unwilling, and right now, most of my mind is as well. I've not felt this low in some time, and it worries me. I will contact therapist today and left her a message. We'll see if she has any brilliant ideas...or just something I haven't thought of.

Reprieve

I am feeling very close to human today as I have since Friday. I did not post for a while due to strong Herx reactions and the resulting depression. I plan to do as much as possible in the next few days to a week before starting my Silver regimen.

Today I harvested one of my watermelons.

In my excitement I neglected to check it properly to make sure it was ripe, so it was a bit of a disappointment when I opened it up.

But I cut out the pink flesh and am eating it now....it's not so bad :) Next time Ill try to restrain myself. lol

Blaahhhhh

I've been feeling a bit of depression lately. I increased my dose of Samento the other day and the Herx reactions have left me weak and listless. Things - like my disability paperwork etc - aren't getting done and I feel I'm falling further behind. It is a real struggle to even get myself vertical. I'm doing my best though, and calling my friends like crazy just to stay sane and not be consumed by feelings of hopelessness.